Holiday Sweater Round Up: A Prestige Buyer’s Guide

Holiday Sweater Round Up: A Prestige Buyer’s Guide

Here at Prestige Imports, we recently started a holiday sweater promotion that runs through 31 December 2015. The basics of the deal are simple:

wear your most outlandish holiday sweater when you bring your car in to the service department and enjoy a 20% discount on parts and labor*. To make things even more interesting, we will be taking a photo and loading it to our Facebook page. The customer photo that receives the most Likes, Comments, and Shares will receive a complimentary full vehicle detail** – a $249 Value!

In honor of this limited-time event, I decided to scour the internet for “interesting” holiday sweaters. Below is a list of some choice apparel with bonus commentary by yours truly.

“Hand-Crafted Christmas Cardigan Sweater Ramie and Cotton” ($5)

This wonderful four-paneled, cardigan sweater boasts knitted images of a toy drum and bugle, a teddy bear adorned with a winter’s cap, a Christmas pony, and a tannenbaum. Basically, this is the perfect sweater for those of you who just can’t make a decision and stick with it. I mean, for $5 a person who fits into a woman’s size medium really can have it all.

 

Don’t let the benign name of this sweater fool you. As one of the few gingerbread (i.e. brown) colored holiday sweaters on Craiglist, you’re sure to show your fellow holiday-enthusiasts that you’re a cut above the rest, so to speak. And with mittens, stockings, and a snowman stitched into the torso area, there’s enough gaudy imagery to offend even the blindest of eyes. And, if I’m not mistaken, it looks as if this might also be a mock turtleneck; what better way to say “I lack all conceivable notions of taste” than to rock a few extra inches of fabric in the neck area.
“Christmas sweater – one of a kind xmas sweater” ($30)

What child doesn’t like to leave a plate of cookies out by the Christmas tree with the hope of seducing a jolly fat man into delivering the choicest of consumer goods? Well, probably billions of kids world-wide that celebrate Ramadan, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or other non-Christmas-based holidays. But otherwise, yeah, a bunch a American youngsters spend Christmas Eve luring a strange intruder into their homes with sweet treats. It’s kind of like a Crazy Joe Davola maneuver. Bear witness to this weird tradition with this equally weird sweater.

 

Let’s be honest for a second: 85% of those people searching for Christmas/holiday sweaters are hipsters. If we can continue with the trend of honesty, let’s also agree that hipsters will buy, literally, anything at a ridiculous mark-up if the modifier “vintage” is placed in front of it. For example, you couldn’t pay most people to throw down their hard-earned cash for a jalopy; but re-brand it as a “vintage automobile,” and dudes with mustaches, Rivers Cuomo glasses, and skinny jeans will enter into a frenzied bidding war for the clunker. That’s why I absolutely love the marketing tactics used by in this ad. A “vintage” holiday sweater? My guess is that this item will be gone by the time I post this article.

“Broncos Holiday Official Team Sweater sz L” ($30)

OK, call me crazy, but I actually like this sweater quite a bit. The fact that I like this sweater is all the more perplexing due to the fact that I’m a Cleveland Browns’ fan. IDK, there are some things in this zany world that just can’t be explained. If I’m going to attempt an explanation, though, I would wager to guess that the alternating rows of fir trees and donkeys are pleasing to the eye in a primordial, subconscious manner. Oh yeah, the white sleeves make it look like a sweater vest; and, as we all know, sweater vests are the zenith of men’s outerwear fashion.

To schedule a service appointment, call our Parts and Service Department at (833) 825-5423. Don’t forget to wear your holiday sweater when you drop off your vehicle.